Mamma Ilaria's scar and her text message "Since I gave birth, I can no longer achieve pleasure with my husband. What should I do? Could you help me?"
👉dr Serena Anzilotti
Since I gave birth, I can no longer achieve pleasure with my husband. What should I do? could you help me? This is how Mamma Ilaria's message begins on my Fbk page ...
Ilaria gave birth in a small Italian country 9 months ago, in a private clinic that she chose with great care but which she instead turned out to be anything but respectful of what they had described to her .... She is a mother who has been living in Dublin for a few years and like many others I have already told you about, she decided to return to her homeland for the birth to have her mother close at least in the early days ... never was the choice more wrong but 'now living in a country where birth is lived in a more respectful and natural way than many Italian realities ... but you too can only say this afterwards!
When she arrived in my office, her eyes were shining, red ... she tells me that during the whole trip 2 hours and 30 minutes from her home ... she had thought and thought about what to tell me, how to tell her misadventure but in addition to the tears words they could not find place in her mind ... a hot cup of tea and the right questions were enough to bring out memories, sensations, emotions, words trapped in her for so many months ... between sighs, tears, anger, disappointments she tells me everything in the slightest details from the preparation of the suitcases to return to Italy, where she had already begun to regret the choice made, to the suitcases of the return to Dublin ... of her little and very good child who eats and sleeps ... to her and her lost intimacy.
Her violent and ferocious childbirth, to use her words, left a huge pain and many badly healed points in memory of her senseless choice as she tells…. A birth between stimulations, yes because at 39 weeks and 5 days the clinic admitted her because according to them the pregnancy EXPIRES at 40 weeks ...
👉 physiological pregnancy is considered as such up to 42 weeks I remember ... where your midwife will supervise and monitor that everything is going well ... you are not and we are not food products subject to expiry !!! every mother and every child take their time to meet each other .. otherwise forcing Nature means undergoing unnatural and deleterious procedures for mothers and children but also for the whole family ... and it is more and more to you to tell all this '….
Subjected to various cycles of stimulation that did not want to trigger the correct spark for labor when by now after 3 days exhausted, she had lost all hope ... something moves but needs a terrible chemical help to continue .. the atrocious Oxytocin synthetic is introduced into her body, various thrusts on the belly (Kristeller) must undergo because her little baby cannot find the right position subjected to all these forcing ... and icing on the cake a great episiotomy always without her knowledge (as more and more 'often you tell us about being cut without being warned) ...
👉This birth leaves it marked in the heart and soul ... If my body was unable to give birth, how will I be able to be a Mother?
If I needed all this help, how will I do it on my own when I return to Dublin?
Birth marks us ... the way of giving birth makes us stronger and more powerful or, at its opposite, weak and scared ... We need to get ready for the birth !!! It is necessary to be informed by competent personnel and the place of birth must be chosen carefully because it must satisfy one's desires, one's expectations not because it is near the house, no because my friend gave birth there and she found herself well. . NO!!!! We are all different and what is good for one is not good for another ... and above all, you MUST NOT RELY ON YOU !!! You have to take responsibility for your choices, you have to know what you want ... what do you want from the structure? What from the staff? What from your partner? What from you? What do you want to come and not be done? And do not choose the structures that perform the birth and do not leave you free to give birth as you wish .. the maximum part of the problems related to the birth are associated with the delivery bed, YOU DO NOT BORN ON THE BED !!! It is an unnatural position, a position that facilitates and prepares for intervention ... but here maybe we will do a separate post if you want ...
All these invasive maneuvers have completely damaged Ilaria's self-confidence and she now feels lost, lost… she needs to find her red thread…. So let's start our journey together ...
👉Last week we finish our 5 appointments ... her scar in being metabolized, accepted gives way to the discovery of her relationship that had been abandoned after repeated failed attempts due to the too much pain of the stitches, for the too much sensitivity of the area…
Meeting after meeting, she is more and more motivated, she is more and more different, she is more and more Strong and Aware ,she is more and more different, she is more and more Strong and Aware, she has finally met the Mother who is in her, has made peace with the Woman in her asleep and has taken up her Role as Wife by the hand ...
this is a path that involves all 3 women present in us and who after birth find themselves in difficulty with each other ...
👉iIt is not an aesthetic treatment it is a treatment of the soul ... it is a wonderful journey that every woman should experience to help reconcile her life and her many roles ... ... now the path with Ilaria restored the balance in her vanishing scar sight of the distance is continuing with sessions via Skype because he feels the need to "fix" other things in his body and soul ... and what birth did you have?